पॉलिटिक्स मिक्स - 2

Part 2 of the Politics Mix series. Part 1 was published on 10 April 2009.

( "याव याव खमौ ब्येब्स
डू द बीट्स नाउ
पंप अप द बेस डॉग!" )

सकाळ झाली सूर्य डोंबल्यावर आला,
म्या बी उठलो न आलो की ओसरीवर.
पाहतो तर काय,
आमचा आजा, होता फेरी घालीत.
दर दोन मिनिटांनी हात जोडीत,
न हात उंचावून शांत करण्याची नक्कल करीत.

मला वाटल म्हातारा वेडा झाला,
वयाच्या ऐंशीज मध्ये काय खूळ घेऊन बसला!

म्या म्हनला आज्याला,
"काय र आज्या, हे काय करून राहिला रे तू?"
"अस खादी घालून, ध्वॉतर नेसून,
एकटाच नमस्कार करीत काय फिरतोस?"

आजा नमस्कार करीत म्हनला (चिरक्या आवाजात),
"देखिये....हम इस बार गावाच्या सरपंच पद के लिये निवडणूक लढ रहे है"
अगदी श्वाकच बसला मला!
"आर आजा, तुझा वय आता ऐंशी, तू कशी काय लढणार विलेक्शन?"
"ह्या वयात हे जमणार कस तुला?"
(मनातल्या मनात म्हन्लो, " म्हातारा बहुतेक झालाय खुळा!")

आज्याने आपला थरथरणारा हात हळू हळू उचलला
न माज्या गालावर मायेने ठेवला.
म्या म्हन्लो, " आर, लाड कशापाई करतोस?"
"बोल, माज्या प्रश्नाच उत्तर कधी देतोस?"

तर वैतागून आजा म्हन्तो कसा,
"ए, भुस्नळ्या, म्या लाड न्हाई क्येले,
म्या तर तुझे मुस्काट फोडले!
माझे हात थरथरले म्हनून
तुला नाय कळले!"

"म्या असेन ऐंशी
पण अजुन पन जवान हाय,
परवाच उंदीर मारला,
म्या निडर हाये!
ट्वायिलेटला कदी जायाच
हेची तुझा बा न्हाय आठव करून देत,
म्याच ठरीव्तो!
म्या निर्णायक हाये!."

" म्हातारा झालो म्हुन काय झाल?
मला बी सत्ता ट्येस्ट करायची हे!"
म्या चक्रावलो, म्हन्लो,
" आर पण, गावातल्या यंग उमेदवारांच काय?"
आजा आन्खी वैतागला, " ए शान्या, गप र्‍हा की!
म्या विलेक्शन लढणार म्हंजे लढणार!
जास्त बोललास,
तर माझ्या 'लाल' छ्डीने 'आडवा आणी' उभा फोडून काढीन!"

म्या म्हटला " स्वाँरी आजा, माफी असावी!"
तर आजाचा थरथरणारा हात परत गालावर फिरला!
म्या वैतागलो, " आता कशापाई मारतो?
आजा आपले खोटे दात दाखवत म्हनला,
" म्या तुझा आजा, माज्या राजा!
म्या लाड केले नाही मारली मुस्काटात!
चल आता रुसु नकोस,
गाडी काढ आपली,
रथ यात्रा काढली पायजे,
ह्या यंग गावाला
म्या ऐंशी वर्षाचा तरुणच
नीडर नि निर्णायक बनवू शकतो,
हा नि चा पाढा पढवला पायजे!"

-प्रांजल वाघ



This work by Pranjal A. Wagh is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 India License

Our Benevolent Netas

Imagine a day when you turn up the page 3 for the latest gup-shup of your favourite star and to the surprise you end up reading the content of our politicos, you are just shell-shocked and might turn to the last page and few may even give up reading, well that’s the content many keep track off. All and all you see a hot blonde shedding off clothes and keep up cool in the summer; yeah photographers do click the very moment. But instead you end up seeing our sexagenarian or hepta or even octogenarian neta taking up his dhoti and hat and those glares, ohh la la, with a tag ‘this is how they keep themselves cool in summer.’ Oh Shit, just can’t imagine, eh?


Yup the heat is on, everyone in India or rather the world is looking up the IPL, sorry not the Indian Premier League but the Indian Political League. Jagore.com is on march waking up each and every youth, asking them to vote. The Times of India is giving daily updates under pages ‘Dance of Democracy’. Every form of public, private medium is used to put forth the election campaign of respective parties. ‘Jai ho’ the Oscar winning hit by A.R has been taken up officially by Congress to strategize its win. In the meanwhile the counter competing party, BJP has put it down, that if this continues, the song has to be changed to ‘Bhay ho’. Well one thing is there, people are best and experts in how to pull others down.

Elections, Elections, Elections.....whole day the same thing, new stories, war of words and in a way fun. Take up this: exactly what must be the case for those who lead the parties, definitely a big task at hand. Keeping up with the party members, meetings, rallies and whole lot of business, yes they got to win; a do or die situation indeed. Just imagine what all would be there in the secret diaries of our Leaders...



Sonia Gandhi:

With everything up close and even the third phase of polls out, indeed I liked to contest 2009 elections and yes it’s been different from 2004. So much so that I changed the ringtone of my cell phone to ‘Jai ho’, even the alarm in the morning rings up ‘Jai ho’. In addition I kept A.R photo as a deity and I pray Him, just not taking any chances. Surely each day is different. Sharadji has been giving a distant nudge and my eyes are wide open to see which signal blows up every day. I heard that Sharadji’s alarm rings PM, PM in the morning and because of that I wake up early just to check if Jai ho is well set or not, God when all this will end! Scratching my head even hints me that possibly Sharadji might have gone to Greg Chappell for advice and the least I expect is, as always Greg must have shown his ‘proper’ finger. That chills me again. Being a cricket head he’s learnt how to spell a googly at least. Laloo on the other hand is thinking his buffalo would be parked at 7 Race Course, hell with that for now as Nitish is doing his homework well, my lessons after all. Really Mulayamji is heading for stardom, thanks to SC that Sanju is out or else Munna would have created trouble with his Jhappi-pappi. This says things are quiet in my purse. Oh well, I can’t forget the bravo, 82 yr old hero Advaniji. Who can forget him, I heard he’s got an orkut account & is adding friends to vote him. I think I should get one on Orkut and one on Facebook too, that will help. Modi has always been an irksome guy, but my daughter is trained to treat him well. When will this Southies learn? I made them eat Idli, dosa & even took a bath in Sambar but seem everything is hitting me badly. For that matter I even told that Uthappam was a precursor to Pizza, yet the issue still remains Italy first then India. You see so many things in 10mins, wish me luck, vote me, Jai ho.



Manmohan Singh:

‘Wahe guru de Khalsa, Wahe Guru de Fateh’

I checked with myself the other day when Advani pointed out the ‘Weak’ aspect. To fight back I think I should wear a Turban with a three colours, saffron (not for BJP ofcourse), white and green, hmm yes this will make it cool? Or may be a pair of Jeans and say it this way, hey whats up Sonia? No No that was hilarious. Pranab soothed me and reminded me of my birth date and told me you are a PM, ah 'I said yes I know'. But following day I said I can juggle 5 balls at one time. Economy, US-N Deal, Af-Pak (Fak-Ap), election-09 & will make one ball to fall down, Advani.
Lately my family, are keeping their shoes well away from the door, maybe an indication that these days ‘shoes’ are the best gifts. To this I reviewed my Eco books, may be a nano level study is to be made on 'Shoeconomics'. The other day I checked how the leather industry is doing and it was bad(not actually) to see that recession has affected them too, hope May 16 + 100 helps them out with more shoes in production. I could go on indeed, but I need to put on the gloves to fight in the ring, EC has blown the whistle. If not now the boot will be under Advani’s foot.


Lal Krishna Advani:
On joining Orkut I found out that I have grown quite old, well indeed yes? So what if youth needs a youth leader. BJP is ‘Bulaya, Jamaya, Pa-diya’ what say? To say the least this year’s inspiration to fight elections was a ‘spider-man’ at my home. Yes he has made webs all around the walls, my very own spiders. Tried, tried & succeeded. Recently I learnt some new ways to high-five people. The other day I met Rajnath, he was flabbergasted to see this and asked me, planning to join congress?? There I recalled it was the symbol of Congress, nothing much to this but I put this again and again on myself ‘???????’ My PR has got a big job to make me young, every day I get tips that make me younger. The day is not far when you will see my photo with a guitar in hand, & yes it would be of Saffron color with a lotus-shaped plectrum.
‘Oh Man’, this Modi is doing his home work. ‘Oh Man’ Varun has slipped of a steep slope. The other day I was hit back when the same ‘style’ I mentioned to Shushmaji, to this my PR hit himself on his forehead, well did I do something wrong? I even sought that calling by nicknames would add more spice and make it even more cooler, Sush and Mods, oh wow that sounds great. Recently my vested interests have changed a lot, these days I read India: Crime Report 2004-2009 instead of reading India 2020, changed my homepage from BJP.com to Swissbank.com.


You see I have changed a lot; this is the least to mention. My diary would be updated. Do Vote me.


‘The above mentioned are just mere secrets and result of multiple jumping thoughts. Hope you have voted for the LS '09 election.’

Regards